November is Men’s Mental Health Month. As a guy with experience not only in mental health advocacy but also pursuing treatment for my own mental wellness, I’m in a position to inform you candidly about the challenges men face in terms of mental health and also how to shoulder through the stigma we face as men in order to take advantage of resources and treatment to make this journey easier.
Here in the United States, one of every five men you know suffer from a mental health disorder. Six million American men suffer from depression, while twenty-five million American men suffer from anxiety. About that same amount of men (25 million) report having no close friends. It gets worse when we discuss something as broad as experiencing stress. A whopping 142 million American men report experiencing recent stress.
So how do we men typically cope with these staggering stress, loneliness, anxiety, and depression statistics? Unfortunately, not in the healthiest ways. Approximately 65% of men report hesitancy in pursuing treatment for mental health issues, and only about 40% end up actually following through and getting treatment. To compare, about 60% of women with mental health issues end up getting treatment. A vast amount of men end up self-medicating their issues with substance abuse, such as excessive alcohol consumption or drug use, instead of getting professional treatment. Sadly, only about 7% of men end up finding themselves engaging in talk therapy with a professional therapist.
Guys, that’s not good enough. And it helps to reveal why men account for about 80% of all suicide deaths in the United States, about four times the rate of women. Because men so rarely seek treatment, the vast majority of these suicide deaths have no prior history of documented mental illness. And things are a little more grim since we’re in Wyoming. Here in the Cowboy State, the suicide rate is more than double the national average.
So, in a nutshell, as men we have a problem. The deck is stacked against us, and much of that deck was stacked by our inaction, stigma, and generational pseudo-masculinity which tells us that it’s weak to admit there’s a problem, that we need help. There isn’t one thing noble or virtuous about suffering in silence. That’s not stoic. But let me tell you what is stoic: showing up for your loved ones as the healthiest man you can be. It’s stoic, noble, and virtuous when your loved ones, your kids, and/or your community can count on you for leadership, strength, and confidence. And you can’t truly embody those qualities if you are struggling with untreated mental health issues. You can lie to yourself and others for a while, but as the statistics sadly show, that’s not sustainable.
Now, let’s talk about stigma. As I mentioned on the onset of this, I’m not writing about this as just an advocate for men’s mental health. I’m writing about this as someone who has suffered and is undertaking professional treatment. That’s not an easy thing to toss out there to whomever sets their eyes on this. But I feel like it’s important for you to know that I’m writing from experience, and I think there’s power in hurdling the barricade of stigma.
When I returned from my active duty military service overseas, I was diagnosed by the Department of Veterans Affairs with major depressive disorder, anxiety disorder, and severe agoraphobia. These are disorders I still struggle with and have engaged in treatment for since 2010. Currently, I have been undergoing experimental Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy at the Department of Veterans Affairs for the last year to process service-connected trauma which has been buried in me and unprocessed since I experienced these traumas as a soldier 17-18 years ago. Fortunately, my work in veterans advocacy and mental health and suicide prevention advocacy has made me more open about my personal mental health journey. It’s helped me ignore the stigma. And that’s what I want for you or your male loved ones.
So, where do we go from here, guys? If you’re struggling, explore options and resources for treatment. That’s the beginning of the journey, your first step on the path to wellness. Newcastle and Upton are now blessed with mental health providers, and if you’re a veteran the VA is ready and waiting to help you. Your first step, however, needs to be visiting 21wellnesscoalition.org/prevention and go to the “mental wellbeing” subheading. That’ll give you links to a variety of mental health resources and options as you begin to explore how to feel better and how to be a better man for those in your life who need you to be strong, dependable, and healthy.
Men, be your best, strongest, and healthiest self. And if it’s asking too much for you to do it for yourself, do it for your community, for your family, your kids, your friends, your co-workers, for everyone you encounter throughout your day.
Atlas couldn’t carry the world on his shoulders if he was broken inside. You can’t do so either. It’s time to start the process to mend that brokenness. I’ll see you on that path, fellas.